I was in facebook today and I saw some pictures of my friends whom are happily married or with their better half right now. I saw one of my friends' post: "I can't help but still be amazed on my husband's face even I am married with him for 5 years now". I begin to wonder if everyone of them is happy with the person that they are with? I am so amazed on how they were able to find their true love at this time. I also felt jealous maybe because I don't have someone with me as of this moment. Actually, I am not in a hurry or whatsoever. I am really (purely and honestly) happy with myself and with friends. I have all the time for myself, doing the things I want, going to places without even wondering if my boyfriend will like it or no. In short, there are no complications. But sometimes I can't help to think of thoughts like-who is the right one for me? Is there something wrong with me that I usually end up with the wrong person? or am I the wrong person? Well I'd like to believe that I am not the wrong person because I can really attest that I am truly a sweet and caring person (putting myself on the chair). I wonder if God is doing this on purpose so that when the time comes that I would meet my other half, I would be ready....that I am complete again...I've healed and become a new person. The other day I was surprised when a past love was trying to come back after months of not saying anything to each other. Actually I don't feel anything for him, I think I don't want to be with him anymore because I know that he's lying again. Maybe he realized my worth and that he shouldn't let me go. (actually our love story was crazy...our ending was not really good...the moment I stepped out from his life I told him that he was not my business anymore..I even told him not to force me to hate him and to forget him because once I stepped out of his life, I won't dare to come back...) But then again, I am wondering if I should give myself and him another chance to prove our love? or should I just let the wind take its course and wait. We really have had good days together. I must say that we really "clicked". I just can't help the fact that he had a lot of issues to solve within himself. Urrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh...ok this is not the right time to tell this story. I don't even want to recall it. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that --- these are the wonders of God, the Freedom for us to choose.
When the right time comes, I just hope that I could have the same smiles like what my friends are having right now. I can't wait to fall in love with the right guy. I can't wait to extract the sweetness in me again that was gone or I think in a hibernating mode.
I wish I could say the exact same lines like what my sister said when she finally decided to marry Eduardo, my brother-in-law...
"It's all worth the wait..."
